bhiggo

The reason there's a tank shortage is... you.

Please, the tank is the one who pulls, sets the pace. You don't like the pace, vote to kick. I'm sure the 10 minute wait to find a replacement will just fly by and you'll finish the run.. oh after you would have. No I wasn't slacking we chain pulled pretty much the whole instance, I just hate ninja pullers.

-- Your meatshield

So while wandering aimlessly about the GLORIOUS server of Moon Guard, I came upon an RSP that -- while not necessarilly terrible -- made me pause for a moment and read it over again. The following is the RSP of a Night Elf Warrior, mind you.
 
( Cut for Confusion )

Hi, lurker here. I've had an idea for a character that I've thought would be very interesting to do, and I've never seen someone RPing one before. Basically, a Furbolg.

( More behind the cut! )

Healing an instance at level 20 with all your points in Shadow? Doable.

At level 76? Not so much.

plz stop clicking 'healer' to get to the front of the line. Sit back and wait like the rest of the DPS.

No love,
The Hunter who somehow survived that wipe you caused in the first room of Gundrak

I'm sorry I bowed out, but random is random and having a just barely good enough tank and just barely good enough healer does not make for a fun H HoR run. After two wipes on wave #4 I called it quits. I was hoping for a nice fast 2 emblems before raid but it was readily apparent that that was not going to happen. I hope you eventually managed but I just could not. Sadly that was only the third time I've ever dropped a PuG prematurely.

There's this touchy thing called 'aggro'. You? You are supposed to hold it. It's why you clicked the little tank-y symbol in the LFG queue. It's not just to limit your wait time. No, really. It's a job you're supposed to do, not just a way to cut in the front of the line.

So blindly running into trash mobs isn't gonna work for me. No, really. And running past them to aggro even more mobs when you can't hold aggro is really not working.

So I'm glad I let you wipe on trash mobs. I am. You spent all your time comparing axes with the DPS instead of making sure all the mobs were on you.

No love at all,

Juuni, Moon Guard

ps. Rolling need on gems? Really? Really?

It's clear from the chat that we have at least one pug member who hasn't been into HoS before, at all, on any alt. So a little common sense would be a good thing. It's clear that you've not tanked it before otherwise you would know about Krystalus and his shatter, oh it was a joy to see all the bloody melee run straight back in after being booted back. The correct action there is to check the local area to ensure there is no one else and that being true, not to f*cking move.

So, tank and healer (me on my Paladin[1]) get him down.

We then wipe on the trash heading to the Maiden, because the tank pulls everything. We then nearly wipe again because he pulls before the healer is back in the )&^^(& instance, we then wipe on the room of annoyance because people aren't getting out of the fire.

So, guys, you're nice enough but completely clueless. I can handle wipes, I can handle multiple wipes, I can't be arsed dealing with "teh stupid" and moronic pulls just because the tank is on crack.

No love, your Plate wearing healer.

[1] Gear isn't too bad, enough to heal HoS, though it's a rough ride in places but massively overgeared for the instance.

When the tank in pit of sauron says "I want the hilt, I'm only tankin cause I want the hilt there is no other loot in here for me, I'm pulling lots of trash, If this is a problem feel free to drop before we start and we can replace you", this is not an invitation to pull two packs, then start too piss and moan because its taking to long. Nor is it an invitation to drop during the first pull.
When YOU deliberately pull another pack, thus wiping the party this is not then an excuse to A) piss on the tank, b) piss on the healer, c) demand we speed up the instance.
In summary, I'm to tired to put up with this. At least I had the dignity to drop when nothing was active. Good luck finding another tank on this server.

dear pug mage,

i am so glad someone outrolled you on that trophy, it would have been an embarrassment for my entire guild if they gave someone who was dead for about 90% of the instance one. i even laughed when you asked for a brez after the 4th death, and then laughed even harder because the 24 people in vent realized you were not there. internet fires are hard to avoid i heard. stay classy, mage.

stepstomarrow
When granddaughter, Jada, was born with leukemia, a donor-match was located and Jada made a miraculous recovery. In honor of her grandaughter's health, Jeanna has decided to walk across the country (in the dead of winter) to raise awareness and build support for the bone marrow registry (all that's required is a cheek swab). Follow Jeanna's remarkable journey as she travels the United States by foot.

Dear random group,

You guys were awesome and patient even though most of us had no idea where we were going. That's okay; Sunken Temple is easy to get lost in, or so the guild leader said the one time I went in there. We managed to figure out directions thanks to Awesome Durid.

Thank you for your patience with me and my (probably unimpressive) DPS-ing. All that loot we picked up? 'S all yours. You deserve it for being awesome. And big kudos to Gnome Mage and Dwarfadin from Lightbringer for being highly competent at your classes. You made this gal's night.

With all respect,
That Arms Warrior from Sisters of Elune

That was a bukkit of fun. I swear we could've 3 manned VH last night. My health didn't drop below 90%, aggro was pulled but once when I missed the thunderclap, and you dotted that mob to death before it could get to ya.
Heck heals, you even threw some at the pathetic fury, despite being pissed at his lack of gems and enchants. I know I know, I didn't ASK for him to treat me as his mentor in all things warrior, he latched on to me like a Lamprey. Your comments about his gems or lack there of were thoroughly appropriate, I hope like hell he listened to you, since he's been ignoring my gem suggestions.
It was a pleasure guys, I hope to group with the two of you again.
*hugs vengance battle group with great big hugs*
Rhane

You don't have to do achievements in H AN. If you don't know how to do them, it certainly doesn't make the run faster. If the rest of us don't know you're skipping adds and pulling the bosses, don't whine when you die.

No love,
the pug who just wants her two frost emblems.

Dear Stuckup Tree,

1. It's heroic OK. Srs Bzniss if the tank has less than 42k HP unbuffed rite? -_-;

2. Agreeing to stay, waiting until we kill the second boss (WITH NO TANK HEALING ISSUES WHAT SO EVER), cussing out the tank for being a noob, and dropping group after 'ninja'ing an ilvl200 dps caster neck... wow. gg?

Guess what. We got another tree after you. She was fantastic. We face-smacked the instance and got Volunteer work, Speedy dimise, and were done in no time at all.
:D Plus, the other two people from your realm have already spread the news!
Good ridance and haha at you!

Dear RL,

I get you are a badass death knight, I get you're so OP that you like to tell us AFTER a boss fight how cool you are.

Writing me off as just "your really good friend's GF who plays wow cuz her BF is playing wow" and giving the warlock advice every 5 minutes because your main in the other guild is an OP lock? I'm feeling the love. Telling the party "if you stand there, you'll die" and not say who and I proceed to die, yeah great. Rolling on something during events and giving it to your GF? Very sweet :P

Rushing heroics not explaining things and being surprised people die? Then telling people the jousting is NOT hard and how come our DPS is low in jousting? Not saying hi to the random cross realm pugger that we picked up to do Strathlhome? I end up saying /hello to the guy out of pity. WoW is my retirement MMO, I started out caring less if my mage did 2k DPS in heroics, I could care less WTF my gearscore is, this guild we're in? It's so casual we do Heroics when we're not lazy to do them.

If I wanted to experience enjoyment out of heroics like this, or actually get my raid face on, I'd have never quit my last game and my own guild.

You wonder why I turned down doing heroics with y'all, why I gave up my mage. Why I'd rather do random LFG on my druid till I fall asleep at the keyboard. But damned be me if a hilt drops and I don't roll Need on it on my mage. Especially after you jump up and down and say "where's my damn hilt" while we all take a mana break.

( Her eyes peer into your SOUL. )

EDIT: She's not a draenei. She's a belf warlock...But maybe she's a alien princess or something?

Dear Stupid Rogue,

Negative reinforcement doesn't seem to be working on you. This is the 4th time you have run in to a group of mobs and FoK'd before the tank can pull, and the 4th time I have let your dumb ass die.

I love DPSing in heroics but I'm starting to love healing even more, because if you're stupid, I don't have to heal you.

P.S. Stupid tanks? Yeah, if the healer is the one that had to stay behind for a minute to tell Brann to move his ass in HoS, maybe you should let her catch up before pulling. Just a thought!

Dear Mr hot shot tank,

We met last night in Upgarde Keep HC, you a warrior in poor gear, me a disco priest in good gear. You started badly pulling mobs before the buffs had happened, but no worries I presumed you were just inexperienced.

You then proceeded to chain pull, badly. You missed mobs, dropped aggro and ran from those you pulled into combat - so desperate to keep moving. I told you to relax, but you just bragged how amazing you are. Darling you're not. But I am. I kept you up, and the rest of this unfortunate band of merry soldiers. Even through the dragon room, which you insisted on pulling the entire room which is far from necessary, and even some of the best geared tanks I know can struggle in this room. You were an idiot, rude and stupid. Yet I kept you alive, more selfishly than anything as I need the triumph.

Then we came upon the last boss, and my darling OH who had sat next to me while I had cursed and pulled my hair uttered these words "let him have it" so I did.

100% you're on full health and the boss is dropping nicely

30% I drop back to purely shielding you. PoM stops being bounced, only the small heal from the shield is keeping your health up.

Boss comes back to life and you have 80% health

60% the last shield is placed around your arrogant self, so how invincible do you feel right now?

30% I throw shields and renews on everyone but you. I know with a hunter and a ret pally we can down this bad boy without you.

9% you have a little to much health and finally I start to worry that I timed this slightly wrong.

1%...

0 and you both go down together.

I cheered, the OH cheered, the 2 dps in my group cheered.

Noone ressed you.

This is a lesson I hope you remember, never EVER fuck with your healer.

Enjoy that repair bill.

Love Nicademus
A troll priest with attitude (and skill)

Ok, now, look, I know this is a tough concept for you, because your simple mind can barely comprehend more situational awareness than that required for "Am I behind the mob?" and "PEWPEW". I'm the tank. I know, I know it's crazy. Stay with me here.

I have tanked this instance three times already today. I have three level 80 tanks. My main tanks TOGC and Icecrown. I'm pretty sure I've got it figured out. I've got each pull memorized and, get this, I can see first hand how well the puggie healer does with the pulls I give him.

The first time you ran ahead of me you nearly wiped us. I'm really flattered that you think I'm up for the challenge of getting three spread out caster mobs off you and under control, but the healer really isn't. He isn't a bad healer, he's just not phenomenal. He's struggling with the spike damage.

Don't be a dick. No, seriously. No. Ok, look, if you run to the end of the gauntlet ahead of us while we're still back here fighting shit, I promise you're going to die. Because I'm not taunting the mobs off you.

Oh look, you're dead. Happy? Now I have to pretend I didn't do it on purpose. What's that? The only way to get the icicle achievement is to run all the way through? GEE, MISTER, IF ONLY THEY GAVE YOU SOME SORT OF FIVE SECOND WARNING BEFORE THEY HIT YOU TO WARN YOU TO MOVE.

Oh, apparently I didn't pretend too well, because you purposefully ice spiked me on the last boss. Too bad I'm a tank and have tank health and stuff. You weren't paying attention, were you?

If you'd like to set the pace for the group, next time you tank. Thank you, fuck you, bye.